Different Emotions

Cancer is a serious disease. Cancer treatment often takes a long time and can be demanding. During the cancer pathway, you will face many periods of waiting and uncertainty and go through different types of emotions. Many describe the experience as riding on a roller coaster.  

Learning about the emotional effects of cancer can help you cope with it. It can also help you understand and support others through these hard times.

You may feel any or all of the emotions described below at some time or another. 

Shock

• Shock is often the first reaction to finding out that you have cancer, that your cancer has come back or that your cancer is advanced. It can make you feel confused and numb, unable to know what to think or feel.  
• Shock can make it very hard for you to take in information or to complete simple tasks. You may even forget where you are or feel like time has stopped. 

Fear

• It is frightening to hear the cancer has come back, has spread or is at an advanced stage at diagnosis.  
• Fear or anxiety (a feeling of worry or unease) may occur when having thoughts about dying. 

Denial

• A diagnosis of advanced cancer can be hard to accept. Some people deny the fact that cancer can’t be cured or that treatment options are limited.  
• Denial usually fades with time. However, it can be a problem if it lasts for more than several weeks or months and stops you from getting treatment or making important decisions. 

Anger

• Anger is a common response to something that one feels very unfair. You may feel anger toward the cancer itself, healthcare professionals, or friends and family members who are healthy or who don’t understand what you’re going through. You may also feel angry with your god or even yourself. 
• Sometimes it may even be hard to work out exactly what your anger is about. 

Guilt

• People sometimes blame themselves for having cancer. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent it or to discover it sooner. You may also feel guilty about how your illness affects your loved ones. 
• Caregivers, family members or friends may also feel guilty. They may feel guilty that they can’t make you feel better, or that they aren’t doing a good job of helping or supporting you. 

Uncertainty, anxiety and stress

• You may feel you have less control over your life. It can be hard to adjust to an uncertain future. Because of the uncertainty, you may feel anxious and stressed. However, if the level of anxiety and stress overwhelms you which affects your daily living, it can have a negative effect on your health and you may need to ask for help from healthcare professionals.

Loneliness and isolation

• It’s very common to feel lonely or have a feeling of being on your own. You may feel too sick to work or enjoy social activities. Friends and family members may not be able to visit you as often as they did before. That doesn’t mean they don’t care. They may just be afraid to see someone who looks sick or worried they would say something wrong. 
• Even if your families and family keep you company, you may still feel lonely if they do not understand what you have been through.

Sadness and depression

• Some people feel sad after being diagnosed with cancer. There are also some who do so during their cancer treatment. It is common and normal to experience emotional upheavals such as feeling sad, frustrated and discouraged during this hard time.  
• However, if such negative feelings persist or even worsen, this may be a sign of depression. Depression may affect your quality of sleep, appetite or even your memory. Consult your healthcare team if you think you are in depression. 

Hope

• While hope is important to many cancer patients and their beloved ones, we mustn’t forget that it is also important to distinguish realistic hope from false hope. This helps you make well-informed and better decisions about your treatment and long-term plans if you have any.

HKU Med: Jockey Club Institute of Cancer Care: Stay Emotionally Healthy